Have you ever experienced the kind of pain when someone you love doesn't reciprocate the love you've given them? Well, I'm in that kind of situation right now. I am trying but I always fail. And you know what, it hurts. So much.
It's been years that I've been trying to regain the closeness that we had with my brother. We were so close when we were still kids but when he reached high school, everything changed. When I also entered the secondary level of my academics, it's really different. Totally different. Questions popped out in my mind and always asked "why". I really don't know what really happened. Maybe if I did something wrong, i can't remember what I did. It's just so confusing and it bothers me always.
In the present time, it hurts me most when I always see him having fun time with others. This is true especially to my cousins and the sister of his girlfriend. I admit I'm jealous and I know I have the right since I'm his real sister. (Forgot to tell you that we also have a little sister but they're close). I just wanted to clear everything. The reason behind all of this. I can even remember one of my closest friends felt that it's like we're not siblings. Even at school we didn't say Hi to one another. I know it's wrong but I don't know what to do. I even consulted a priest and ask of what to do and when I tried it, it didn't work.
All I want is to have that closeness back. I wish we just remained kids so that I can always feel his love. :((
*March 12, 2011 (His 20th birthday yet he didn't thanked me.)
It's been years that I've been trying to regain the closeness that we had with my brother. We were so close when we were still kids but when he reached high school, everything changed. When I also entered the secondary level of my academics, it's really different. Totally different. Questions popped out in my mind and always asked "why". I really don't know what really happened. Maybe if I did something wrong, i can't remember what I did. It's just so confusing and it bothers me always.
In the present time, it hurts me most when I always see him having fun time with others. This is true especially to my cousins and the sister of his girlfriend. I admit I'm jealous and I know I have the right since I'm his real sister. (Forgot to tell you that we also have a little sister but they're close). I just wanted to clear everything. The reason behind all of this. I can even remember one of my closest friends felt that it's like we're not siblings. Even at school we didn't say Hi to one another. I know it's wrong but I don't know what to do. I even consulted a priest and ask of what to do and when I tried it, it didn't work.
All I want is to have that closeness back. I wish we just remained kids so that I can always feel his love. :((
*March 12, 2011 (His 20th birthday yet he didn't thanked me.)
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